Ever since Mila was born I have allowed the kids to be independent in their playtime and entertain themselves for the most part. Not that I don’t play with them, but I would give them toys and turn on the Wii or put on a movie and let them make a mess, telling myself all the while that it was in the best interest of my sanity. Then when it came time to clean up the mess, I knew it would be easier to pick up most of it (or all of it) myself. I knew forming these habits would ultimately result in lazy disobedient children but I kept saying “soon I’ll fix it”, and I never did.

The other day by 19 month old told me “no”. I know toddlers say no to their parents, that’s not what irked me. It was the way she said it. She had such a confident manner about her as if she knew that she was in total control of the situation and all she needed to do was verbally refuse my request and I would become exasperated and let her win. I knew I had to make some major changes in our house or I would end up with two disobedient children who will grow into unruly teens and become ill-equipped adults.

I fancy myself as being a pretty good mom. I love my children unconditionally. I feed, cloth, and shelter them. I cuddle them, make them laugh, and play with them. I cook wholesome meals, watch their sugar intake, make sure they brush their teeth, but my parenting technique was lacking. Even though I do all of these things for them, they still have attitudes and disobey. They throw temper tantrums when they don’t get their way. If they are never satisfied and thankful for what they have, then how will they grow up to become happy adults who are willing to work hard and appreciate life? When I ask myself what I want for my children my answer is that I want them to be happy. I want them to know God and behave in a godly manner. I want them to be gracious and forgiving. I want them to be thankful and have a pleasant attitude. Yet, I was raising my children to be selfish, impatient, rude, and to walk around with a downright nasty attitude. Fortunately my children are very sweet natured and have flourished inspite of my parenting mistakes so I can only imagine how much better life will be now that I that I recognize the error of my ways.

I decided that obedience was going to become the number one priority in our house – effective immediately. My friend Phyllis told me about a website (raisinggodlytomatoes.com) a few years ago. I went to the website and copied all of the information onto my computer so I will have it readily accessible throughout the day. Now, instead of taking 10 minutes to myself to mope about how difficult it is to keep up with two young children, I sit at the table and read through the information and I am reminded of how important parenting is and I feel motivated to stay consistent and keep with it for the benefit of my children, myself, and those around us.

The basic principles of Tomato Staking are to keep your child close to you at all times. This makes it possible to train them, educate them, and love them throughout the entire day. Every time your child does something they shouldn’t, you correct them. If your child obeys, but does so with a bad attitude, you have them repeat the action, until they can do so with a good attitude. There is a lot more information on the website and Elizabeth (who wrote the book Raising Godly Tomatoes) has wonderful advice on how to deal with all sorts of situations and difficult ages. I am completely committed to this parenting approach because I am completely committed to raising my children to become godly adults. Not to say that your children won’t turn out well if you disagree with the Tomato Staking, but it suits our family’s goals perfectly.

The kids were with their father over the weekend so I introduced the approach when they returned Sunday afternoon. Both children are doing extremely well. They love the attention they are receiving from being at my side all day. We cook together, clean together, read books together, play together.. you get the picture. I make myself involved in what is interesting to them and I involve them in my chores and responsibilities and do my best to make it fun and interesting. I feel like I have been missing out on so much. I am getting to know Matty’s personality more than I ever would have had I continued to let him play Wii all day long. He is so curious and inquisitive about everything! Each thing we do together is an opportunity for me to teach them, love them, and get to know them. Even though I don’t allow them to run the show, they are much happier and I feel that they are infinitely more confident
in my love for them.

So overall they are doing well but I’m sure you know as well as I do that my two small children did not transform into angels over night. There are a few areas where I am still trying to work out kinks.

With Matty I am concerned about his addiction to the Wii (Super Mario Brothers in particular). I let him earn 20 min of play time by collecting tokens he receives instead of an allowance. He must do the chores nicely, with a good attitude, and without being asked in order to receive a token. Just in case that sounds like a pretty high standard – he averages about 10 to 15 tokens a day. I give him 2 min of time on the Wii per token so he saves them all up and cashes them in for some Mario time. I set the timer and when the timer goes off (even if he is in the middle of a “level”) he jumps up and turns the tv off because he knows those are the rules. He doesn’t complain or whine as he would have last week. He knows that he has to obey and he knows that it pleases me (and God) when he does so and that makes him happy. This system is working out pretty well for now, I am just worried about when he starts earning 30+ tokens a day. I don’t want my 4 year old to sit there and veg out for an hour or more playing video games!

I don’t really have any other major concerns with Matty. He has surprised me with his willingness to cooperate and he already understands a good attitude vs a bad attitude. I feel bad for having underestimated him and babied him so much. He is much brighter than I gave him credit for and I didn’t allow him opportunities to shine. When he makes mistakes or chooses to disobey he is easily corrected. He doesn’t have the longest attention span, but he is getting much better. I am extremely proud of him.

As for Mila, she is another story. She doesn’t have the understanding that Matty has so I can’t explain it to her as easily. She cries every time you say “no” to her. She cries if she doesn’t get her way. She hits Matty and throws things at him. She cries when it is time to take a bath. She cries when it is time to go to bed. She, too, is enjoying the increase in “mommy attention” but her training definitely has a way to go. I correct her as gently as possible, trying to show her how to do things nicely and apologize when she hurts her brother. She is very sensitive but she is always very aware of how to get her way and she is so used to getting her way that she has no concept of another way. I will have to focus a lot on her behavior in the following weeks (possibly months or years) until she can enjoy our fellowship as much as Matty does. I have high hopes for her though and I know we’ll get through this rough patch if I stay diligent and consistent.

If any one else is Tomato Staking or would like to share your parenting styles/experiences, I would love to hear about them! I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

It has been almost a year since I have blogged!

Our family has gone through quite a lot since 2009. Kyle and I decided to part ways a year ago so I am still adjusting to a single mom status. We’ve made several moves and changes and things are finally settling down. The kids are both doing great and getting smarter every day. Though we’ve had to make some difficult decisions everything has worked out for the best.

Matty is coming up on his 4th birthday and he is incredibly stoked about a Super Mario themed party. I am going to start him on a preschool curriculum this summer. This will be my first official attempt at homeschooling so.. more to come on that!

Mila is 18 months old and she is introducing us to her new found attitude (could it be the terrible twos already??). She has a shoe fetish and is addicted to string cheese.

I’ve been cooking! I have fallen in love with the recipes on foodnetwork.com We use almost all organic ingredients and the kids have liked almost everything (they’re picky eaters). I will post links to some of our favorites.

In other news.. we’re going to be adding a new section to RockBabyRoll. There will be cloth diapers for sale and possibly some other products (input and suggestions are always appreciated). We’ll have separate sections for new diapers and used diapers. If there are any WAHMs who are looking to sell their products send me your info and pictures of your items to mattysmama@gmail.com

I’ve been looking for affordable natural toys for the kids. We want to cut back on the amount of plastic toys we have since most of them are not recyclable and so many require batteries. There are some products that you really can’t avoid that are plastic, such as strollers, unless you want to stick with baby carriers. That gets harder with multiple children though, especially for extended outings. Strollers and playpens can be used through several children and passed on to family or friends. Most of our plastic toys, however, may not be as long lasting since Matty can be pretty rough with his toys.

I really like Melissa & Doug toys but they can be pretty pricey. I try to buy them from Kid to Kid since they always have a large selection of that particular brand.

Three Sisters offers wooden or waldorf toys that are all natural and most of them are well priced and affordable. Some of them are a little expensive, like the castles and dollhouses, but you are getting a great product for your money.

Peapods is another good option. Their prices very as well but a lot of it is very reasonable and it’s a mommy owned store which is very cool. They also offer toys made from recycled materials.

Hazlenut Kids is an awesome website. They have all kinds of natural toys and crafts for children of all ages. They even have some really cute room decor. The prices are good and even the shipping is inexpensive.

Willow Tree Toys seems a bit more expensive. However if you feel like splurging they have some adorable items and some of them are fair trade which makes this online store very appealing to me.

As a proud christian, a woman, and a mother I find it impossible to be anything other than pro-life. I believe with all my heart that EVERY child is a gift from God, no matter what the circumstances. I do not hate people who have had abortions or people who are pro-choice. I do however hate the act of shedding  innocent blood. It pains me to imagine the kind of fear and uncertainty that would drive a woman to kill her own child and then call it ‘exercising her rights’ as a woman. We’re teaching our children that they need not be responsible for their actions because these unplanned pregnancies are easily remedied with guiltless murder. This topic has been weighing heavily on my heart recently so I will be posting information, stories and links to hopefully open some eyes to the horrors and tragedies that go unnoticed and unpunished.

What the FOCA?! (Freedom of Choice Act) is an edgy advocasy campaign that I came across this morning while researching. I thought it was very funny and creative. They have some great info on their website and have taken a fresh approach to the debate.

Most of you have probably heard of the Freedom of Choice Act. If passed this law will eliminate all restrictions on abortions.

It will remove the ban on;

• Partial birth abortions
• The Hyde Amendment (your tax dollars will be funding abortions)
• Parental consent and notification laws
• The ban on waiting periods
• The ban on informed consent
• Health and safety regulations for abortion clinics
• Bans on abortion after viability
• Limits on public funding for elective abortions
• Limits on the use of public facilities
• Legal protections for Catholic and other religiously-affiliated hospitals who, while providing care to millions of poor and uninsured Americans, refuse to allow abortions within their facilities

I hope that all parties responsible, including our new president,  for passing this amendment will have a change of heart and come to their senses.

——————————
This info came from

http://www.badchange.com/?page_id=90

The big catchphrase regarding partial birth abortion (and oftent times all abortion) is “the mother’s health”. Obama claims to be in favor of a ban on late term (partial birth) abortions, but supports the common “exception for the mother’s health” clause. Scientific and medical research disprove the theory of a mother’s physical health ever benefiting from a late term abortion vs. simply giving birth. Babies are born premature all the time. The phrase “late term” specifically applies to “viable” babies, which are defined as being fully capable of surviving outside the womb.

Some text from the Freedom of Choice Act, Section 4:

(b) Prohibition of Interference- A government may not–
(1) deny or interfere with a woman’s right to choose–
(A) to bear a child;
(B) to terminate a pregnancy prior to viability; or
(C) to terminate a pregnancy after viability where termination is necessary to protect the life OR HEALTH of the woman;

Again, in order to perform a partial birth abortion, a viable baby is born 90% with only his or her head still inside the birth canal. Ask yourself this. If the baby can survive if born, how does aborting this baby (and actually forcefully preventing the baby from being completely born) save the life of the mother in any way?

“Health of the mother” has been stretched to mean things as selfish as the mother’s mental or emotional health due to potential embarrassment or stress that comes with an unwanted pregnancy and birth.

———————————————-

This website has some really good information and stories too.

Mila has been having intestinal problems since late December. She had blood in her poop the day after Christmas and a few times since then. I took her to her pediatrician (we use an alternative pediatrician) and she said it was possibly a milk allergy and acid reflux (she spits up A LOT and was not gaining weight). So she wrote up an order to have a barium swallow done. I called to make the appointment and found out that the patients have to have an empty stomach for a certain amount of time before the procedure. I can understand why that is necessary but I couldn’t bring myself to not feed my two month old just for a test, so I cancelled the appt.

We tried Reglan but she became constipated and even fussier after a day or two. At that time she was 3 months old and 9.12 pounds. Our doctor recommended that we see a specialist so we tried to get an appt with Dr. Vartabedian ( he wrote Colic Solved) but he didn’t have anything available until June so we went with another doctor in his practice.

Our appt with the specialist was last Wednesday. Mila weighed a whopping 11 lbs so she’s still on the really small side. The bloody poop is caused inflammation of the colon due to allergies (Colitis). The doctor prescribed Prevacid for the reflux (GERD) and recommended Nutramegin formula to help both the colitis and the GERD . Since we’re breastfeeding I decided against giving her the formula so I’m on a restricted diet. I can’t eat soy, nuts, strawberries, dairy, or eggs. I thought the eggs and dairy would be the hardest to avoid but it’s the soy that’s killing me. It’s in everything!
The doctor sent us home with some cards that we smear her poop on. We are supposed to do 3 samples on 3 different days about a week after I started the restricted diet and then bring in the samples and they’ll check the stool for blood to see how much the diet is helping her intestines to heal from the colitis.
She’s still crying in pain several times a day and sometimes while she’s sleeping. She seems to be spitting up less frequently though. I’m looking for probiotics and natural alternatives to the Prevacid so if anyone knows of something please let us know!

This morning I was brushing my teeth and I thought this really doesn’t taste right. I was in a hurry so I kept brushing. My teeth didnt have that refreshingly clean feeling and it was getting awfuly sudsy. Any sane person who gets a decent night’s sleep would have stopped by now, but not me. I kept on brushing away. The smell seemed somewhat familiar.. maybe like cucumbers? I rinsed out my mouth while gagging. Then I spotted my cucumber hand soap. YUCK. Kyle!? I think I just brushed my teeth with toothpaste and handsoap!!! Kyle says Oh… yeah.. Matty had your toothbrush last night… So that’s how my day started. And just in case you were wondering – nothing will get the taste of handsoap out of your mouth.. and the suds stay in there for a good 2 or more hours. Thanks Matty. I’m still gagging.

Mr. Mischief himself

Yesterday I woke up exhausted, Mila has not been sleeping well. We started our day like always with breakfast and Tom and Jerry cartoons. When nap time came around my 2 1/2 year old refused to take a nap. He wouldn’t stay in his bed or even his room and he kept running out doing silly stuff and I would giggle and therefore be unable to punish him.

I finally got him to stay in there quietly for about ten minutes so, as promised, I went to check on him. He was sitting in his bed with his cup of milk and a bag of vanilla wafers! I came to the pretty logical conclusion that nobody would be getting a nap. So we all piled into the living room in the big rocking chair to read stories.

I looked up from The People House and noticed a dark shadow outside the bathroom door. What the heck is that? I didn’t pay much attention at first, but then I started thinking it seemed to be getting bigger. And what is that noise? It sounded like the toilet water was running. So I got up and headed into the bathroom, only to find myself ankle deep in water. I panicked and called my husband, telling him to come home right away.

Now there was water in the  entry way, the hallway, and seeping into the dining room and living room. I called my mom and she told me to turn off the toilet water. Duh. Why didn’t I think of that? So I turned the water off and notice an insane amount of toilet paper stuffed into the toilet… wonder how that could have gotten there.

By now the first half of our apartment is in an inch of water. The maintenance people show up and start sucking up water and ripping up carpet and then they move in the giant fans. I’m glad it didn’t leak through the floor into the apartment underneath us. I bet they’re glad too. So now I’ve got concrete and exposed tack boards throughout the apartment and these fans have to keep running until at least tonight and the carpet people should come “in a couple days”…

I should have invested in toilet locks.

Lead testing law won’t apply to thrift stores

(According to LA Times)

“After a barrage of complaints, federal regulators shifted gears Thursday and said they would no longer require that used children’s clothing, toys and other items sold at secondhand stores be tested for lead.

Thrift and consignment store operators had protested that they couldn’t afford to pay for the testing, and that doing so would require them to stop selling some goods or even go out of business.”

To see the full article go here http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-thrift9-2009jan09,0,7588285.story

Other info on the lead law

http://www.cpsc.gov/ABOUT/Cpsia/legislation.html
http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h110-4040

And a mom’s perspective that is easier to understand!
http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read.php?post_id=1320853

Thanks to Nici H who provided these last three links in an email she sent out to spread awareness.

Which diaper is our favorite? Which brand? These questions have been coming up frequently in recent conversations. The answer is not simple. To us, each different diaper meets a different need (fit, absorbency, comfort) so it is too hard to have one favorite. Instead I will tell you which we use and why.

Matty’s Stash
Matty was using bumGenius 3.0 AIO’s exclusively and these worked wonderfully on him. They were trim and never leaked. We’d use the extra doubler at night and he always woke up dry. We never had any issues with Velcro or elastic wear ‘n tear. Now, at 2 ½, he’s in pull-ups. This is not a budget or environmentally friendly option, but don’t worry, I’m making some fleece (Batman and Wall-e) training pants this evening. I’m planning to use organic cotton and prefolds as a sewn in doubler with more fleece lining on top. More on that later…

Mila’s Stash
With Mila I loosened up a little and decided that all of my diapers didn’t have to be the same brand (I can be a little obsessive) and I’m so glad I did. First in her rotation we have about 12 fitted Kissaluvs (we use homemade fleece and wool covers or Bummi’s Whisper Wrap). Those are the first I reach for and my personal favorites at this stage.

Next is a Swaddlebees fitted. I love the soaker on this one, it adds a little bulk, but it’s great for overnight and still has an excellent fit on her tiny butt. We have one Thirsties AIO (she outgrew the others) and I like this one better than Matty’s OS (one size). It’s much trimmer on such a tiny baby. They don’t tend to be as absorbent as my others so if I’m planning on having her in it for a while I add a doubler… or sometimes two.

Then we have some Happy Heinies pocket diapers. They’re great for outings or going to Nanna’s house because the actual change time is just as quick and easy as ’sposies and you can customize absorbency depending on what you ’stuff’ it with. We keep some prefolds around for laundry day (and Kyle prefers them) and gdiapers in case I’m too sick to do laundry or if I need to squeeze Mila into an almost-to-small outfit.

Other thoughts...
I’ve found that water resistant covers work best for us and they seem more comfortable than a lot of PUL covers (all though a lot of PUL’s are very good quality and can be very cozy – not stiff at all) and I love the fitteds (partially due to the fact that I don’t enjoy stuffing pockets). These are just my personal preferences now. As Mila grows and starts getting taller other brands will fit just as well or better. I am very anxious to try some bamboo fitteds and wool skirties or longies.

I found a really cool pattern online for the fleece soakers I’ve been making, http://katrinassqs.blogspot.com/, I’m a novice and the few problems I’ve had were not due to the pattern but my absent-mindedness and unwillingness to thoroughly read directions… Including cutting time I’ve gotten to where I can turn out 1 for every 15-20 minutes. So if you’re crafty (or even if you’re not) then you may want to give it a try.

Any time you are talking or reading about cloth diapers online you are bound to come across some words or abbreviations you’ve never heard. We’ve compiled a list of these words so that these otherwise baffling terms will now (hopefully) make sense!

AIO  - All-in-one Diapers
AI2 -  All-in-two Diapers
AP  - Attachment Parenting

Aplix – a brand of hook and loop closure (similar to Velcro but much softer)
BF  - Breastfeed
BG  - bumGenius brand
BSWW  - Bummi’s Super Whisper Wrap
BTDT -  Been There Done That
BTW  - By the way
BNIP  - Brand new in package
CD  - Cloth Diapers or Cloth Diapering
CPF  - Chinese Prefold
Crunchy -  Living ‘Green’ or Eco Friendly
DD  - Disposable Diapers or Dear Daughter
DH  - Dear Husband
DS  - Dear Son
DSQ -  Diaper Service Quality
EBF  - Exclusive Breastfeeding
EDD  - Estimated Due Date
EC  - Excellent condition
EUC  - Excellent used condition
F&C -  Free & Clear (detergents)
FLer  - Front loader washing machine
FS -  For sale
FSOT -  For sale or trade
FYI  - For your information
FB  - Fuzzi Bunz
FMBG  - Full Moon Baby Gear
GAD  - Green Acre Designs
HH  - Happy Heinies
HE -  High efficiency (washing machines)
ITA  - I totally agree
IPF  - Indian Prefold
IMO  - In My Opinion
ME  - Mother Ease brand
ISO  - In search of
KWIM -  Know what I mean
LMK  - Let me know
LO  - Little one
LC  - Little Caboose brand
NAK  - Nursing at keyboard

OS  -  One size
PUL  - Polyurethane laminate
ROTFL -  Rolling on the floor laughing
SAHM  - Stay at home mom
SEZ  - Snap E-Z brand
Touchtape  -   a brand of hook and loop closure (similar to Velcro but much softer)
TLer  - Top loader washing machine
TTC  - Trying to convieve
WAHM  - Work at home mom